This is a restack from Substack where I am more often these days. Hang our at this blog if you like posts less frequently
A few years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD. A friend I’ve known since I was fifteen tilted her head and groaned sympathetically when I told her, but I felt like dancing, (knowing I might knock over a cup of coffee — clumsy is one of the gifts in my kaleidoscope of ADHD).
You may have heard me refer to ADHD before. It’s not that I’m proud of it, but it EXPLAINS why I had so many difficulties over the years that made me feel I didn’t belong anywhere. Knowing that it’s at least partially responsible was a relief, and now can I understand things what I can do to be better or at least more accepting.
My brand comes with making impulsive decisions, not paying attention to details, and having poor impulse control when it comes to saying something out loud that really shouldn’t be said out loud. Some of these things led to difficulties in relationships and work, but all of them led to a deeper relationship with creativity and myself.
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Impulsiveness kept me from hesitating which led to experiences I never would have had.
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Impulsive decisions led me to volunteer for jobs I never would have taken if I had looked closely but which gave me skills, tenacity, and adaptibility.
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Not paying attention to details gave me an artistic style I like.
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Saying things that are usually stifled led to a lot of people feeling they weren’t alone and weeding out people who weren’t really friends anyway.
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Work difficulties led me, after 17 years of working for someone else, to inventing my own profession which has been more rewarding than I ever imagined.
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Relationship difficulties, including being alienated by my family, led me to being independent, absorbing myself in my creative profession, and finding how freeing it is to develop self-compassion.
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Losing things - I can’t think of anything good about that.
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None of this was done without pain, but as Paul Simon said, “My words trickle down from a wound I have no intention on healing.”
Pain is the gristle in the oyster’s shell. Creative output is the pearl. Research suggests that ADHD traits like divergent thinking, hyperfocus, and impulsivity also contribute to creative achievements.
I have this incredible assistant who helps me with my coaching training. She tells me when I’ve made typos, cited wrong dates, and dispensed incorrect assignments. These things happen weekly even when I think I’ve combed through details like a racoon looking for a chicken leg. It’s still frustrating. Hiring her was one of the best things I’ve ever done, and even though my ego hurts a bit when she points out yet another error, I know I would be a little lost without her. Thanks Shelly. The ego can sit and stare at itself while eating Leggos, I do better without it.
Too bad she wasn’t there when I made travel arrangements in April to go to Spain June of 2026…. 2026 is key here.
Which leads to what inspired this article. I decided to go to overseas with the tour company, Backroads. My Canadian husband and I didn’t want to risk him going because of the precariousness of getting back into the US if you’re not American. I got an email from that tour company this morning, May 24, that said: “Get ready! Your trip is next week.”
I thought, well, certainly that is a mistake THEY made. But then I had my usual, adrenaline-laced, “Uh oh.” I called them.
I’m going to Spain on Friday.
Love and Paella,
Jill
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