"We are what we believe we are."
- C. S. Lewis, author
“Belief and delusion are incestuous siblings.”
- Aleksandar Hemon, author
I remember when I was an author... a few years before I actually was one in reality.
“I’m writing a book,” I’d announce to students in my writing classes in a voice that had a nasal-like superiority to it, like Mrs. Drysdale from The Beverly Hillbillies, (a reference you’ll understand only if you watched TV in the 60s and aren’t afraid to admit it). I was attending a New Thought church in San Diego and in between Sundays they had nine weeks of meetings they called “Sacred Circles,” groups that centered around the theme the minister was teaching on Sundays.
With audacity and a good posture, I approached the minister and in my author's voice said, “I am writing about nine modern day Muses as creative principles and it would be perfect for use in the nine weeks of Sacred Circles if, indeed, the theme was creativity.”
Much to my surprise, not only was he willing to use my unwritten book for Sacred Circles, he upped the ante' and said, “Sure, I could do nine sermons based on your book, a Muse a week. How about we start that in May?”
“Of coursssse,” I replied with all the calmness of a jackhammer. I figured if I let on that it wasn’t yet written, this opportunity would evaporate. It was January, May was only six months away.
I hurried home to look at my book in progress and the only thing I had written were names of the Modern Day Muses and their newly assigned domains of creativity. I had written the same thing over and over much like Jack Nicholson's character in The Shining wrote, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” There wasn’t a book at all, and much like when I watched The Shining, I screamed.
And then I wrote the book, 250 pages. And Penguin-Putnam published it. I wouldn’t have written it without Temporary Delusionality.
Some will say it was delusional to say I was an author at that point, mainly because it was. But I was also discovering “Ready-Fire-Aim,” a tool I teach to help perfectionists get unstuck. You get an idea, you jump in even if you’re not completely ready, and that action will make it happen when hesitation because, “I’m not ready,” might delay or discourage you.
I booked a venue for a one woman show before I finished writing it.
It got done and was one of my most rewarding creative endeavors.
I scheduled several art shows before half the paintings were done. They got done.
I schedule workshops before they are planned. They happen.
I’m not saying there isn't some anxiety involved, but sometimes it’s that anxious energy that unlocks the bolt to where the ingenuity is stored and certainly where momentum resides. I learned to trust myself that, either it gets done or I'll be fine and have gained some wisdom and/or humility if it doesn't. Letting go of the attachment to the result brings me freedom to experiment.
The delusion, in this case, cultivated confidence which led to action and that made the fantasy a reality. Actual confidence was a fringe benefit of pretending I was something I wasn’t yet, and confidence is freedom in the world of creativity.
I have since self-published, The Nine Modern Day Muses, (and a Bodyguard) ; Penguin Putnam sold me the rights after it went out of print. I use it as a text book in my creativity coaching training and mortals continue to purchase it. One of the Modern Day Muses named Audacity, frequently gives me a thumbs up for its conception.
Note: This strategy should only be used responsibly and not to run countries and such.
Happy 2025,
Jill Badonsky
Come Write with Me
Ray Bradbury said, “You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.”
I’m teaching a four week writing Zoom class starting next week called, Let’s Stay Drunk on Writing. Check it out here.
Hey, special new 2025 perk for paid subscribers on Substack is regular creativity prompts, a Dear Muse column to get through creative blocks, and tips to keep creativity a priority in a time that really needs that place of timelessness, agelessness, and self-empowerment. Thank you, paid subscribers!
