As instructed by my Muse, (who doubles as a flight attendant), I first had to secure my own oxygen before I could teach others how to survive the chaotic storms encountered when self-doubt clouds their creative intentions.
One of the missions I choose to accept in this lifetime includes freeing people from their restrictive natures --the ones fostered by misguided notions that tell them art or writing or anything creative demands to be approached in a specific manner and when finished, needs to be a certain way for it to be “good.”
These restrictive notions are perpetuated by our tyrannical inner critics, educational institutions that prioritize stifling standards over creative freedom, and the deep-seated fear that everyone will see we aren’t good enough.
I abided by the same myths, mistaken notions, and fears of being inferior but because I had a compulsion to “survive reality” I doggedly devoted myself to creativity despite the easy frustration that was included with my factory settings.
“Imagination is the only weapon in the war with reality.” ~Lewis Carroll
Fear is an inherent part of the creative journey, not something to be eliminated or avoided.
I don't try to banish my fears or those of students I work with; that's unnecessary for creative fulfillment and success. While I'm not entirely unbound by my own fears, when I acknowledge they are natural companions in the creative process, they lose their power to discourage me.
Fears don’t need to be believed, if they try to convince us that people won’t like our work, we don’t have to stop. If they don’t like our work, (and inevitably some people won’t), I encourage people to do it anyway. Rather than asking what’s wrong with our work, let’s ask what’s wrong with those people who don’t like it. Make art, write stories, compose music that YOU love and find meaningful.
Easier said than done but that’s what Georgia O’Keefe taught: “I have already settled it for myself, so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free.” She was indeed “quite free” from the opinions of others. She painted for herself.
I made a podcast about her quote and even though I admire her ability to be deeply rooted in who she is, immune to both the criticism and praise of others, I am not quite that free. And truthfully, I'm not overly concerned about it. I’ll shoot for 25% free from the opinions of others. Small steps! 25% actually feels better than none and I’m not ready for 100%. But I won’t let the 75% of not feeling free stop me.
We are pack animals. Most of us come with a concern for what our tribe thinks; at some point millions of years ago if they didn’t like us, we were kicked out and left to die. We still have the instinct to be accepted though it’s not as dire as it was for survival.
One of the biggest concerns I have when I lead workshops is the inability for people to accept praise. It makes me sad and irritable, neither of which deserves praise, but my theory is they often refuse compliments for one or more of the following reasons:
· They think the person giving the compliment is just being nice.
· They have high expectations of themselves and if they aren’t reached (which they seldom are), they are unable to accept the opinions of anyone else.
· They feel awkward accepting compliments, it wasn’t a part of their upbringing.
· They are afraid to believe them, for whatever reason.
· They don’t want to appear big-headed.
Accepting Compliments is Fuel for Progress
My art life would not be what it is now if I hadn’t started to believe in the compliments I received. It took a while. I got the message early on that my art wasn’t good enough, so I was resigned to just do it for entertainment. This message started to untangle after an editor at a publishing house in Philadelphia wanted to publish my book mainly because of my art. At first that was hard to believe, but I grew more courageous when people I shared it with were complimentary. I started posing a powerful question to myself:
"What would it feel like to believe these compliments?" The subconscious loves questions and works to answers them.
Once I started to embrace the compliments, they became fuel to continue taking risks. Seeing my art through the eyes of others and respecting their opinion, finally got me to appreciate and enjoy my art; it became more than a coping device to engage in art.
Prolific movie maker, writer, and comedian, Judd Apatow, recently expressed this very feeling in an interview with comedian, Mike Birbiglia.
“Sometimes when I let people read scripts or see cuts, … if they get excited, it just gives me the fuel to believe in myself to keep going. I remember James Brooks liking one line in This is Forty, he just picked it out. I thought about it every day the whole shoot. His enthusiasm filled my tank with enough confidence gas to take risks every day.”
Suggestion:
If someone compliments your work, consider cracking the door open to embracing its truth. No need to dismiss, qualify, or broadcast it to others. If you can believe their words just 5% more than you currently do, compliments may fuel your inspiration as well as your willingness to take the risks necessary in the creative process.
Just say, “thank you.”
Join me in Wild Abandon Art- on Zoom June 5-26 Athenaeum
The Muse is In Programs
Now taking applications for the
August 19 - December 16, 2024 Training
August 19 - December 16, 2024 Training
"I am writing today to say that the reason I am doing well is because of your excellent teaching. I wouldn’t be doing as well if you hadn’t set up the KMCC program to support students in a step wise fashion, with plenty of repetition and the scaffolding of kindness. I can incorporate KMCC tools and concepts naturally because of the way you teach them.
As you may remember, I do have life coaching training so I am able to compare. No, wait, there is no comparison. Your training is the best by far." ~Alice Brock, Energy Healer, Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coach
Comments