Okay... it was a toast that had roast elements. On Sunday, July 16, 2023 I got married to the guy who's been my best friend for the past four and a half years. The toast/roast explains a little bit about how we met. Includes some parts never before heard because basically I forgot to say some of it.
2pm October 11 2018: It was another Match.com date. Kensington café. A man with a funny offbeat profile named Robin, had listed his hobbies as straightening door mats, making ice and kicking rocks off sidewalks. My profile was equally off-the-wall, so I suggested we meet to kick rocks off the sidewalks in Kensington (the San Diego community I live in) since I like to do that.
Unlike the other Match.com dates who approached and introduced themselves, [loud voice] “Hi I’m Mac from Match.com are you Jill from Match.com?” Robin, whom I’ve never met, approaches the table and says, “You’re cute, may I sit here?”
First thought: Dangerously charming = Red flag.
But then I dismissed that thought as in my head I checked off the following pluses:
- Original
- Playful
- Spontaneous
- Tall (6’4”, I'm 5'9")
- Nice voice
- Good looking
All things that work for me.
We talked for a while.. or at least he did, ... about all sorts of things and facts and living in San Diego.
I checked off:
- intelligent
- loves his kids
I also realized he wasn’t dangerously charming – but charming in a good way. It was one of the only match.com meetings I didn’t want to end after 5 minutes so I asked him if he wanted to catch the film at the Ken cinema, two blocks away. We saw a documentary about Hal Ashby, the director of my favorite movie, Harold and Maude as well as many others. I noticed we
- Laughed at the same things
When I got home, I got a lovely text from Robin that said … “You’re nuts.”
“Wow,” I thought.
- Honest
- Straight forward
- ... Accurate
I texted back with grace and sophistication, “Nah uh , you are.”
- I think this was the first check mark I got from Robin because he immediately texted back, “You know how to spell “nah uh!”
It was clear, both of our maturity levels weighed in at age 14 and that he liked accuracy.
Robin is accurate, with spelling and facts, grammar, how to line up all your supplements so the labels are showing.
During tender moments when I search the depths of my soul to express vulnerable shy and heart felt feelings ... he is kind enough to correct my grammar which sometimes throws me off, but at which later we laugh... cuz it IS funny.
x
He’s an architect. When he moved a few years ago, he had a housewarming party, so I made little house shaped cookies and I sent him a photo which in response he texted me, Why didn’t you go with mid-century modern?
If you’ve driven with him, you know he’s a graduate of the Mr Toad’s Wild Ride school of driving but as he will tell you, in his 50 years of driving he’s never had an incident because he’s accurate. However, there is a meeting every Wednesday called Robin Brisebois Pulled in Front of Me Unexpectedly Anger Support Group.
Canadian Margaret Atwood said, “Canadians don’t say what they are proud of, they say what they are least embarrassed by.” Robin is Canadian and so sorey aboot this next section, but I can’t help it –I’m American andI am proud to be with him.
He recently posted this Albert Einstein quote on his FB page "I am happy because I want nothing from anyone. I do not care for money. Decorations, titles, or distinctions mean nothing to me. I do not crave praise. The 
only thing that gives me pleasure, apart from my work, my violin, and my sailboat, is the appreciation of my fellow workers."
Robin lives like that – simply, happily, and generous to others. He’s satisfied with life the way it is; he believes we have it all because we have all the main essentials and each other. He’s cheerful 95% of the time, (except when people line up in the slow lane even if they are not exiting at the next exit, making that lane pile up when they could be keeping the traffic moving more efficienty. But he easily laughs at life. He gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. Check marks aplenty.
He is one of the most talented people I know, yet you wouldn’t know it because he doesn’t brag. He’s a gifted artist, musician, comedian, and writer. His poetry sounds like Charles Bucowski, his improvised lyrics at our friend, Ted’s Jazz Jam, sound like Tom Waits, he buses tables at his restaurant, feeds the homeless, helps short women get items from top shelves in stores, and can tell you in lengthy detail how to reduce the number of unnecessary or redundant clearances in a building.
But his greatest joy in having these talents is enjoying them in the moment without any fanfare, recognition, winning of contests, or even telling anyone about them because he’s just authentically being himself and delighting in the people he shares them with.
I am more unembarrassed than I can possibly express, to be one of those people with whom he shares these things. The last almost 5 years have been the happiest of my life.
I yield the rest of my time to the man in the purple top hat from Bonita.
Huzzah!
